Taking dictation

WIP

2010-12-29T07:23:00.000-06:00

The new space I'm liking
The bank book I'm not
I hear the clock ticking
Will I stay in this spot?
The senate keeps voting
... to pay us or not?

I wanted this to be a little lighthearted, but I'm out of words & out of energy. This holiday season has been more than the usual High Drama & I'm beat to hell, emotionally & physically.

Year in recap: Layoff. School. Family drama. Exams. Interviews. Research. More interviews. More fam drama. More interviews. Packing. Part-time work. Moving. HIGH family Drama. Holidays. More part-time work. More drama. More holidays... oy.

I'm done. Can we please move on to the new year? Here's my resolution: Study some more. Research/write some more. FIND A FULL TIME JOB.

That's it. Wishing you joy & peace...

Giving thanks

2010-11-22T17:05:00.000-06:00

I have a few things to be thankful for this year, and this is as good a time to name them as any. In no particular order:

completed course of study and passed certification exam that will set me up for a new career
was available and able to help my mother after a nasty fall that resulted in broken bones and surgery
had time and opportunity to do extensive research for WIP
had the great good fortune to meet and talk with many wonderful, wise (and often weary) people in the course of said research
found new apartment at significantly lower rates
opportunity to work at the No1 BFTS museum
food in my pantry/fridge - haven't drawn on the food bank yet
10yr old car still runs good
income - limited, but it's an income
Friends & Family (and oddly, Facebook that helped me reconnect with many of them)

My hierarchy of needs is not extensive or fancy. Like so many others, my long-term unemployment has made me rethink my needs and priorities. It has distilled my life to its most elemental essence. It's been an interesting and eye-opening test of my resilience. And frankly I think I'm stronger for it. For that and much more, I am thankful.

I leave you with a traditional English blessing:

For food that stays our hunger

For rest that brings us ease

For homes where memories linger

We give our thanks for these

Veterans' Day

2010-11-11T08:17:00.000-06:00

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. (Edmund Burke)
Thank you to all service men/women who gave their time and often their lives in service of this country.

Expert packer on the job again

2010-10-28T18:15:00.001-05:00

When I was a kid we moved around a lot. Like every 3.5yrs we're packin' up the house & moving. Not necessarily very far, but far enough to be in a new school district. I've lived in almost every little podunk town within 50mi radius of Dallas, and there's a bunch of 'em. One would think that as I grew older I'd grow out of that pattern. But alas, NOT. If I'm in a place for more than a coupla years I start gettin' antsy. Pretty soon I'm gonna pack up & jump.

But the last few years I've had this need to just stay put. Kinda outa character for me, but there it is. So this time, this move, is really hard because - for once in my life - I'm not just packing everything & off to somewhere else. This time I'm letting go.

So many boxes of stuff that hasn't been touched or even looked at in years... no room for it. Gotta go. And that box of paperwork that's been hidden in the back of the closet? Shredded! (Whew that was a chore & a wonderful release too!) Furniture sold. Books packed. Post Office notified. U-haul reserved.

If I'm not around for a while, don't panic. I'm just on the move again. I'll be back soon enough...

Ground loops, wind shear, engine trouble...

2010-10-13T18:12:00.000-05:00

and I haven't even left the road.

Another wonderful day spent at the BFTS picking Henry M's brain. RAF cadet, pilot, war-bride-in-reverse, mayor, museum director. Font of information and all around good guy. Generous with information and his own perspective on history.

"You are talking with other pilots, aren't you? Remember, it's been 60 years..."

Be that as it may, this wonderfully generous gentleman has taught me a great lesson: there is way more to know about this than I ever planned on when I started this project!

Next up: flying!

Whatever happened to...

2010-10-04T08:41:00.000-05:00

the cents symbol? I looked for it last night while writing my post & couldn't find it on the keyboard. I know it was there on my typewriter when I learned to type in high school! Where oh where did that little key go? Oh, I know the correct way to designate cents: dollar sign, zero, period, numbers to two decimal places. But what about that other way... that little symbol that looked like a C with a vertical line through it? What happened to that symbol? Is it a sign of our economic times that we have moved past the need for it?

I don't know about you, but I use my pennies. Okay, so the cashier usually gives me a look when I dig them out of my purse, but they are still legal tender and I intend to keep using them. And yes, I'm of an age where I remember going to the local store & buying candy for just a few cents. Now, my grandkids won't take pennies. They know they can't get candy (or anything else) for pennies. They want quarters. Not nickels. Not dimes. Quarters.

I refuse to allow pennies to become obsolete. I will speak up and fight for the rights of that lowly coinage and it's symbol!

Now, time to take that jar of copper to the bank & cash it in...

Overload

2010-10-03T19:09:00.000-05:00

I started to try to write this as something lyrical and poetic, but the truth is my brain is on overload.
This week I've talked with some folks who lived in this area during WWII, recalling life with food, gas, and clothing rationing.
Blacklisting if you refused to work for the government on their terms. (this blew me away)
Cotton trucks loaded with a crop that brought only pennies per hundred pounds.
Weekly or monthly trips to town to spend a quarter.
Movies for 9cents.
A hamburger for a nickle.
Party-line phones.
Asking neighbors for gas-coupons in order to make a trip to a funeral in another city. Using farm-use-gas to get back.
Gold stars in windows for sons/husbands/brothers lost in battle.

There is so much more in the tapes that needs to be absorbed and integrated into the story. I can feel the characters growing, becoming multidimensional. Real. I can feel the town growing, changing, shifting around me, so much more - and less - than the town I know now.
I only hope that my storytelling skills are up to the challenge.

And among all this madness there were the job interviews. Roller coaster week. Nothing poetic or lyrical to it. I'm pooped.

Lest we forget - again

2010-09-22T18:53:00.000-05:00

Standards hang static while

Twilight pinpricks

Gleam in the velvet dusk

Tunes long past prime

Reach forward

With cadence and voice

Aged eyes and feet

Measure the beat

Swing to the rhythm again

Memories take wing

Heavens thrum

With echoes of glory and pain

Relics assembled together

Lest we forget

To shake the hands of heroes

Down a dirt road, barefoot

2010-09-14T08:43:00.000-05:00

The dusty path curves, promising

Secretive

Overhung with branches hanging heavy and still

Dirt clings to skin

Gravel punishes feet

One before the other

Clouds scud across the sky, roiling

Gathering

Threatening

Thunder rumbles above and around

Skin trembles

Nerves naked and raw

A luminous arrow pierces the cumulus

Penetrates the shadowy canopy

Acquires the target

Silent

Sinister

Seductive

Trapped in light, he waits

Lightning cracks the sky

The clouds reply in tympanic crescendo

Soft globules dot the earth

Sizzle on skin

Now sparse sprinkle

Now deluge.

And yet he stands

And yet I walk

Lest we forget...

2010-09-13T14:38:00.004-05:00

The Seas Divide, But The Skies Unite

Celebrating Cooperation between the United States and Great Britain

This weekend, at the No 1 British Flying Training School Museum in the no-longer sleepy little cotton-gin town of Terrell TX, surviving cadets, instructors, their families and friends, townspeople and tourists will join together to recognize the honor and valor of veterans of all service branches

Friday night: dinner and dance with "The Andrews Sisters"

Saturday: Flag Raising Ceremony, followed by fly-in of vintage planes and lecture by Tom Killebrew, author of The RAF in Texas.

Sunday: Memorial service honoring the 20 RAF cadets who lost their lives while in training at #1 BFTS, 1940-1945.

Into the future - kicking and screaming.

2010-09-12T19:52:00.003-05:00

OK, so today I joined the 21st century social networking crowd. Yeah, I went kicking and screaming, but sometimes you just have to jump in the deep end & hope you float and do your damnedest not to get caught in the riptide.

Oh, and after all my hesitancy Facebook decided I was "going too fast" with friend-requests/confirmations. Don't they know I'm related to half the continental US? Oh, and that I really do have friends in Canada? Sheesh!

Please be patient with my gritching for the moment - I plan on getting back to writing and poetry and "serious essays" shortly.

A changed life

2010-09-09T20:01:00.004-05:00

Howard
18 May 1952 - 10 Sept 2005

Five years ago the Divine decided his life was complete.

Five years ago my life was changed, irrevocably and forever.

He gave me laughter and love and family.

I am marked by his absence as clearly as if branded or tattooed.

He is with me always.

Narnia out my front door...

2010-02-12T08:10:00.003-06:00

I was going to write something witty or beautiful, but the http://www.nbcdfw.com/ statistics say everything...

Large, fluffy snowflakes fall heavily across North Texas Thursday, bringing record snowfall that sailed past the previous all-time one-day record.
A new record of 11.2 inches was set Thursday night at Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport -- and flakes were still coming down.
The previous record was 7.8 inches on Jan. 15, 1964, and Jan. 14, 1917.
The total for this winter is at 14.4 inches, the third highest recorded in North Texas history.

Transitions...

2010-01-03T11:04:00.006-06:00

My resulution/revolution this year is dramatic and simple:

CHANGE MY LIFE

I lost my job this year. I need a new one, and this "downsizing" came as a kick in the pants to do something different. Because, as the saying goes, if you always do what you always did you will always get what you got.

To that end:

I'm going to school (again) and learning a new skill. I started my working life in healthcare and am returning there after many years doing assorted other things. Hopefully it will not only be a job, it will be a career that will provide a base to sustain my life into retirement.
And - equally important - I'm seriously working on my (untitled) novel. It's not like I've never written anything - I have a file cabinet full of short stories, aborted novels, writing practice, poetry, etc - but I'm approaching this one a little differently. There is a purpose here; the story wants to be written, the characters are alive in a way no others have been before.

There is something... important... about doing all these things at the end of one year/decade and the beginning of another. It's a transition from one life to another, connecting one to the other and honoring both. The new drawing life from the old, molding interests and skills already known into something different. Something... more.

My New Year's wish for you: that your life be something more...

I'm dreaming of a... what?!

2009-12-24T13:29:00.005-06:00

It's not often we get the white stuff in N Central Texas at the winter holidays, but every few years Mother Nature surprises us. This year the snow storms were supposed to stay far west, up in the panhandle... like normal. Wouldn't you know it, the Grand Lady changed her mind at the last minute (in a demonstration of the female prerogative) to show us just how little we really know...

All of N Texas is under a Winter Storm Advisory through the end of the day today, and with winds sustained over 30mph, we'll be under Blizzard Alert tonight and through tomorrow.

Now, I remember a couple of snowy holidays during my childhood, and ice-storms-a-plenty, but NEVER a Blizzard!! We're not equipped for a blizzard! Send us a hurricane or tornado, those we can handle, but keep the blizzards up north! (*snort*)

Anyway, I wish you all a blessed holiday season, and a peace-filled New Year.

Simple Gifts

2009-11-24T10:27:00.006-06:00

'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free,
'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gain'd,
To bow and to bend we shan't be asham'd,
To turn, turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning we come round right.

Happy Thanksgiving!

changing my life

2009-11-11T08:38:00.011-06:00

"The future will depend on what we do in the present." Mahatma Gandhi

Sorry I haven't been around lately. Working on changing my future. I'll be back shortly...

BOO!

2009-10-31T16:57:00.004-05:00

Round about the cauldron go,

In the perfumed potion throw!

Full moon shine its light on you,

And make thy future troubles few

This is the charm I make for thee,

As I will so mote it be!

found treasure

2009-10-03T20:28:00.002-05:00

You know when you're scanning the channels and land on something that you haven't seen in a hundred years & in the 1st ten minutes you realize why it's considered a "classic" and wonder yet again why it's not on your keeper shelf...

The Great Escape
Steve McQueen... a baseball... a motorcycle...
And a passell... passle... well crap a whole lot of STARS and character actors & everyone of them is an "oh him!" A wonderfully complicated tour de force & oh yeah can we talk about the soundtrack...

I think watching this with my mother so long ago (yes it was that long ago!) was the first time I fell in love with motorcycles. :-)

And OHMYGOD I just looked up & there's Illya Kuriakin... okay it's David McCallum!!! Yeah what can I say I was a Man from U.N.C.L.E fan too! *sigh*

This may not be a "literary" post, but it's JOY for me tonight!

spin cycle

2009-09-27T19:40:00.005-05:00

colors, mixed with darks, mixed with whites...
the water's too hot, the colors bleed,
blacks fade to gray

and wouldn't you know that tissue I couldn't find was in the pocket

the load is off center & the washer goes
thud
thud
thud
against the wall & tries to walk away
while shaking the load free
of all that
dirt

keys to the future

2009-09-13T09:29:00.005-05:00

It's just a few days till the Autumnal Equinox, traditionally for me a time much anticipated. The heat of summer wanes, blessed fall rains come more and more frequently, change is in the air.

There are multiple anniversaries for me of great losses, but there's also Halloween, Thanksgiving, and a multitude of Winter Holidays (Solstice, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa), New Year's Day.

And this autumn, there's also School. Cleaning up, strengthening, building on the foundation I started at the beginning of my career, so that maybe - just maybe - it will carry me to the end of my career.

around the block & back

2009-08-30T11:51:00.013-05:00

I prefer the lovely gnarled limbs and knots of old trees that serve as reminders of high winds, storms, floods and droughts survived over many years.

I find vintage furniture and clothes, with their battered marks of love & use so much more comfortable than new things that have to be “broken in”.

I remember the first time I read that lovely poem of Whitman's praising the lined and wise faces of old women in favor of the fresh faces of the young. I was in my twenties, and it was such a shock to read it and know that men - any men - could want to be with someone... ahem, seasoned. And I remember thinking that I couldn't wait to become a woman 'of a certain age'.

I have to remind myself of all that when I look in the mirror and see the evidence of my life laid out like a roadmap.

And when the plans and dreams I’ve made are dashed to the ground and trampled, then run over by a herd of stampeding cattle and then burned to ash by a raging brush fire, I have to remind myself that it’s all “experience”, and will – eventually – be simply another sticker on the steamer trunk of my life: a tangible reminder of difficulties endured and survived.

pinprick predicament

2009-08-25T14:27:00.001-05:00

disappointment sits
its weight
Smothering the breath from
straining lungs

Anger
Seethes within
Snaking thru veins with
poisoned teeth

puncturing
the pretty pink balloon of

Hope

deflated
it lies
filthy on the ground
trampled beneath the heels
of wait&see

traffic report

2009-08-09T16:59:00.004-05:00

I keep trying to move over to the slow lane & get off this freakin' freeway, but WTF I can't get outa this lane! And the big SUV behind me is tailgatin' and I'm wedged between two 18wheelers & no CB to talk to them...
"hey guys" I call out the window "let me outa here!"
No one is listening.

There's just no clean/easy/painless way to do this is there? No safety net. I get knots in my stomach if I think about staying where I am, and knots if I think about leaving.

At least I went to the local college & enrolled for classes for the fall that will help me get to a new & different place. Meanwhile, I'm runnin down the road w/ both hands on the wheel.

I do have a great roadsign posted to keep me focused:
Sometimes the easiest and best way to get where you will be is to leave the road.
Spoken eloquently by The Walking Man

Twilight dreams...

2009-08-01T16:30:00.002-05:00

In that place between waking & sleeping, in that twilight zone of drifting, dreams are often too vivid to be borne, and jolt me awake...

Before I collide with the car/truck/obstacle blocking the road-of-my-life. Heart thudding moments go by before I realize that I am not the wreck causing the major traffic backup.

I'm paying attention now, Subconscious. I'm taking the next exit off this crazy freeway.

I think the more scenic route is the way to go.

No-whar but Texas

2009-07-26T18:32:00.009-05:00

In a small town outside Dallas TX is an almost-forgotten airport, used mostly by crop dusters and private planes. In the 1940's, it had a much more important role, one not known by most.

During WWII, the RAF sent men here (and several other places across the nation) to this small airport to be trained as pilots.

Fighter pilots.

Instructors - US and British - came here to this sleepy little cotton-gin town and taught approximately 2000 cadets. 19 died in training accidents, 1 of natural causes. All were buried where they fell.

And so you will find in this not-so-sleepy and no-longer-cotton-gin town a piece of Britain in the local cemetery.

At the going down of the sun

And in the morning

We will remember them

Summer rain

2009-07-19T15:06:00.004-05:00

The sky is wet
finally
Thor weilds his axe
the clouds rumble
and Earth sighs
thank you
as she drinks

Yikes - Another contest!

2009-07-12T10:21:00.003-05:00

I've just sent an entry to Jason Evans’s Flash Fiction contest over at http://clarityofnight.blogspot.com/. It's an excerpt from my current WIP & is very different from anything else he's got going over there. Go on over & read a few of the entries. In fact - read them all. There are some truly amazing writers out there plugging away at it..

UPDATE: I am Entry 89

Air France plane hit the sea belly first

2009-07-02T16:55:00.002-05:00

>Reaction: The wreckage is believed to be about 4,500 meters (15,000 feet) deep, amid underwater mountains and mixed in with tons of sea trash. Wow that's almost 3 miles deep.
---------------

What will the futurites think when they find the stuff in the desert when the oceans are gone? Will they make a diarama or a mural or a model to show the children what the earth looked like then/now? Will they stand at the edge of the lake/river that is all that is left of the Mariana Trench, and say "no way" like my kids did when we stood in the Painted Desert and stared at the posters on the wall...

Will they gape at the bones of the long-dead whales & never know the echoing call of the sea's soul?

Will people survive to see the earth dry up like Mars? Are there artifacts/trash/rubble burried under the tons of sand that that planet has become? And if so, what are we to make of it?

guilt ridden

2009-06-30T10:05:00.003-05:00

I am tired
the burden is heavy and the trail has been long
and yet I have not reached
the destination
that point where the burden can be set aside
and walked away from

I am tired
but responsibility
and fear
and love
press on me the need to carry it
just
a
bit
further

I am tired.
what will happen if...
just for a moment...
I lay this burden down?

before I die

2009-06-25T13:37:00.007-05:00

I confess: I have become a blog-lurker. Today while lurking at Walking Man I stumbled upon his list of things to do "before I die":

Write a poem that transcends my time
Be proven wrong, Humans can live in peace with each other for more than an hour or two
See the end of time as a physical, quantifiable property
Love unguardedly

These are so far above-and-beyond anything I would have said that frankly I feel humbled & shamed that I would not have had the courage to go there. I will skip the rest of the "Four Things"... but I would like to jump into the deep end and submit my list of 4 things I would like to do "before I die"

GIVE without hesitation and without judgement - whether of my time, money, or things
LIVE every day in gratitude (after 25 car wrecks survived w/ minimal injury - I'm grateful!)
LOVE without hesitation or fear, with abandon and passion and joy (and yet, I hesitate...)
Find PEACE within myself, and share it (questions, so many questions!)

omens2

2009-06-24T08:46:00.004-05:00

OK so the bird is not a baby red-tail, it is an adolescent Kestrel & S T U B B O R N...
S/he got into the crawl space between the suspended ceiling and the roof... chasing crickets & other tasties I suppose. S/he's still there - it's 5 days now & I'm just hoping that we don't have a permanent mascot.

But my question still remains... what is this bird telling me? I have some thoughts on that:

1. PAY ATTENTION to the stuff going on around me.

2. RELAX. The stuff going on around me is beyond my control. Pay attention until it's my turn to do something.

3. BE READY TO FLY when the time comes.

signs/omens/portents

2009-06-18T13:14:00.004-05:00

What does it say when the animal that you consider your "spirit guide" shows up in your life in a very real manner?

We have a red-tail hawk trapped in our warehouse at my work. Not sure how he got there (other than flying in the bay door) but we've been trying to coax him out & there's something I've discovered about Hawks:
They move on their own time.
We put a tray of water by the open bay door, hoping it would reflect the light / sky outside & show the bird how to get out, but he's not showing any kind of interest in flying away. I really hope he doesn't get into the a/c ventilation system.

Back to the spirit guide issue: I know that I always see many hawks on my daily drives to/from work, and I always feel like they are watching over me, taking care of me somehow. So what does it mean that one is perched in the warehouse at my job? Am I in some kind of danger? Is it a wakeup call for me to Pay Attention?

We have so many issues, so much fundamental change going on, and I am feeling as unsettled as everyone else here these days. Is the hawk telling me it's time to spread my wings and fly away? Wish I were better at reading "signs/omens/portents".

Update: Flyboy Hawk watched intently as I hung shiny squares of foil from the lowered edge of the bay door, but showed no interest in moving from his perch on the rafter...

wake up call

2009-06-10T17:24:00.002-05:00

It was the cat that got me – the little orange tabby, yowling it’s head off from inside the car – begging to be set free.

The woman didn’t really bother me; I’ve been driving blindly past the homeless for years. Even the fact that she was clearly living out of the trash-filled car didn’t get to me. People live in cars all the time. The fact that she was dirty and the car was dirtier – well, to me it was clearly a choice on her part.

But the kitten, the innocent victim in all this, just broke my heart.
The woman had made a choice to lock this innocent animal in her self-imposed prison.

I came very close to going to her and begging her to let me take the cat. Only the thought that this cat could easily be her only reason for living kept me from doing so.

I closed my eyes, ignored the tug on my heart and the knot in my gut, and walked (drove) away.

Ooodling ideas

2009-06-03T08:25:00.002-05:00

Doncha love it when an idea hits & starts oodling around in your brain?
I saw this piece on PBS recently about a town I thought I was very familiar with, and discovered just how lacking my town history was. And the events that were covered in the documentary sparked my interest... I was thinking that, while the story they aired was quite touching, I was certain there was another story buried in there. A fictionalized story of course, but one from quite a different point of view.

I know this isn't much as far as teasers go, but... it is what it is, as they say.

So... I'm working on it. Have no idea yet what it will be called - working title : Terrell, 1940's - Flying School & the Farm Girl.

We'll see where it goes...

Doing something green!

2009-05-06T09:20:00.000-05:00

So... last weekend I did something green.
Remember that lovely Garage/Tag/Rummage sale thing I talked about in the last post? Well, I had one! OK, technically my mother had the g-sale. But I participated!

Now on a normal basis I would be out scouring other people's sales. This time, we (my sister, mother and I) sold our stuff. We cleaned out closets, emptied boxes that have been packed for years, decided what was trash & what might (with any luck) be somebody else's treasure. We priced it to sell, and it did. What a hoot!

Many good things came of this:

my neice has a nice little nest egg in her savings account
our closets are cleaner
other people found things they wanted / needed
all this stuff did not end up in the dump!

We REDUCED. We RECYCLED, and REUSED/REPURPOSED. We had fun doing it and since everyone who showed up had some kind of story to tell, I gathered fodder for story characters for years to come! WooHoo!

do something green

2009-04-22T16:31:00.009-05:00

Today is Earth Day! Have you done something GREEN lately?
Check out The Daily Green for some great ideas, and to see what's happening everywhere.

I think I started being "green" when I was in Jr High (which is far longer ago than anyone will get me to admit!) but I don't think I started as a conscious effort of recycling, honoring the earth, etc. It started... with a Garage Sale. My first was sometime around Jr High, and I've been hooked ever since. Do you have any idea what kind of treasure you can find... for next to nothing!... at a garage sale?! I had no idea that prowling garage/tag/estate sales fell into the Three Basic Principles:

Now I collect any used paper (newspaper, packaging, whatever), plastic, glass... electronics... tires... Furniture. Clothes. Music/movies/books...
Recycling and repurposing is a way of life for me. I hope it is for you too.
I'm sure Mother Earth thanks us all...

Censorship - nastier than a 4-letter-word

2009-04-13T09:32:00.005-05:00

Well, today I am linking directly to Bailey Stewart's post re: Amazon & censorship. This is a very sensitive topic for us, being writers and all...

To Censor or not to Censor
Ohh, my hackles are up! There is nothing I despise more than censorship. And to think that such an establishment as Amazon would participate in this heinous occupation is difficult to swallow. It doesn’t matter to me whether I agree with what is in the books, it doesn’t matter to me whether they would be books that I myself would read – what matters to me is the fact that Amazon has decided that I shouldn’t read them.

There are books in the bookstore where I work that I hate – books the attack people because of their religious or political beliefs. I don’t like hatred. But I still put those books out because I don’t believe that I have the right to decide who should read what. That’s why I don’t believe that Amazon is right in doing this. It’s strange that they are censoring books because they have gay or lesbian themes, but they’ll sell books about Playboy centerfolds, books that have explicit heterosexual scenes, books that portray hatred, drug use, books that teach intolerance of others, etc. But books that have no sexual themes in them, but rather discuss homosexuality, are not allowed. That’s wrong. Books like Evelyn Waugh's Brideshead Revisited, or the short story that was the basis for Brokeback Mountain, would not be allowed on Amazon's search. How can you buy a book on Amazon if you can't search for it. The German's practiced censorship - my father fought them so that we wouldn't .... think about it.

We are not afraid to entrust the American people with unpleasant facts, foreign ideas, alien philosophies, and competitive values. For a nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. ~John F. Kennedy

I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. ~Voltaire

The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen. ~Tommy Smothers

If you agree with this, then please follow this link and sign the petition.

You can also write here:
CEO of Amazon:Jeffrey Bezos
1200 12th Avenue South,Seattle, Washington 98144-2734
United StatesPhone: 206-266-1000
Fax: 206-622-2405

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Thank you for listening to me.

Watch out for that Goal!

2009-04-10T09:48:00.003-05:00

Well... I was sitting at my desk at "the job", killing some down-time by reading some blogs... and came upon Dennie's blog about her writer-goals for the year... and I realized that I've been so busy studying for The Test (licensing exam) that I haven't thought about anything else, much less written anything... and YR is tomorrow and if I don't do something TODAY I'm not gonna get my charm....

sheesh

Why do I do this? I have these wonderful goals about writing every day or at least every week, and I get overwhelmed w/ fear about the blasted pay-check-job that I lose sight of the creativity.... Although I have to admit that I have some ideas oodling about in my head now... Does that count?

Moving on...

2009-04-08T10:20:00.003-05:00

Well... sad to say that the little black kitty that I was calling Sullivan Smudge did not stay with me very long. He was a joy and a terror while he was with me... a joy to me and a terror to my other cats! It was awful to let him go, but I'm hoping that he is blessed with a good home soon. At least the people at the shelter seemed to think he was very adoptable.... Anyway... we're moving on.

Sometimes people (or animals) come into your life and stay... sometimes they are there for a brief moment in time. Sully was with us for a whirlwind of a moment, but will be remembered for a long time to come.

Now... the apt is back to normal... whatever that is.
I'm thinking that Mr Smudge may have to figure prominently in a story I've been working on...

New family member!

2009-04-01T09:08:00.002-05:00

Okay, so it's a cat.
He was either abandoned or the pet of someone foolish enough to let him out every single day in a busy apartment complex... My soft heart could not stand the thought of him being tagged by a speeding car... or abused by thoughtless kids... or...
Anyway, HE'S MINE NOW!!!
Beautiful! About six months old, long-hair, dark gold eyes.... SOLID BLACK.
There is not a stray hair of any other color on this cat.

Now... you must know... I have a thing for black cats.
It's been a thing since... well, forever. My last black cat was technically a black-tortoiseshell. She was with me for 17yrs. You know, that's the longest voluntary relationship I have ever had.
I'm looking forward to welcoming Sully into my home.
I just hope he assimilates with the other two without too much fuss & muss...

Sustainability 1

2009-03-22T08:28:00.001-05:00

Achtung! Attention, Please
What does sustainability mean to you?
I hear this phrase – sustainability, renewable resources – and it means more to me than electricity and oil.
Writers and other creative types need a sustainable, renewable life/style to feed the process, to keep it alive. Sometimes that means looking for alternative energy sources: reading outside your comfort zone, getting out of the house & away from your family for a week / day / hour.
It means paying attention to what your energy sources are in the first place. What fuels your soul/creativity?
Have you filled the tank lately?
I’ve recently found myself turning the tv off. Yep, I said OFF. It’s not feeding or fueling my creativity any more. I find myself staring mindlessly at the flickering images. And I mean mind-less staring because my brain switches OFF and I no longer think.
I don’t think that’s a safe thing for writers. We always need to be thinking, letting those wheels turn, letting the ideas bubble or cook or whatever else you want to call it.
We need time (sometimes only 15minutes is enough) to let the images swirl around and become something more, something bigger, something sustainable on the page.

In the quiet of the apartment with the darkness broken only by the light from my laptop screen and the only sound the subdued tapping of the keys I find myself renewed. My mind calms the frantic activity of the day, lets go of the stress of the workplace, and finds a place to be quiet and still, and then to PLAY. DREAM. IMAGINE!!!

Workin' in the Rain

2009-03-11T11:44:00.004-05:00

I love rain.
I love being inside in winter in rain.
In TX we don't get much snow, but we do get winter rain. The sky is gunmetal gray and the air is much the same. The rain and cold penetrate deep into the earth and into my soul. It nourishes my roots & my imagination-tree starts to leaf out...
I love being in the house/apartment with the curtains open, the wet drops scrubbing the windows from outside, scrubbing the windows-of-my-mind from the inside. I leave the lights off mostly, so I'm walking around in twilight, with maybe one lamp burning. I curl up in my favorite chair, my cats cuddle around me. I put on soul-stirring music: classical or jazz for preference. It's a lovely cozy coccoon.
I read, or write, or just stare at the walls, listening to rain and music and cat-purrs, and my mind is at rest.
Fog is good too: that shimmering silver shroud swirling about, secuding me from everyday cares, insinuating its way into my mind and slinking in "on little cat feet".

I love to work in the rain: the one small light that keeps me focused on what's in front of me; the paper and pen or book or laptop... All distractions are washed away and the words flow freely as the heavens pour down...

My Irish is showin'

2009-03-04T15:19:00.005-06:00

This Sunday is one of my favorite days of the year.... my annual trip to the North TX Irish Festival. Fun! Games! Festival food & beer! Vendors and music gallore!

And lets not forget the bagpipers and all the guys in kilts!

This year I'll be meeting up with some new friends in addition to my stalwart companion of festivals past, and I can't wait to share all the wonderful sights/sounds/eats/drinks/stuff.... well, you get the picture.

Slainte!

the rest of the story

2009-02-28T09:49:00.004-06:00

I’ve always been more interested in the back story than in what hits the newspapers… Yeah I know, most people go for the splash & dash… but me, I go for the things that happen behind the scenes.

Yeah, that story about the woman killed in a head-on collision at a local intersection is tragic, but what things transpired to make that coincidence of timing happen? What about the drunk driver who killed her? Why was he so trashed? Why was he on the road in the first place?

You never hear that the woman and her husband were giving a pool party (complete with keg) and she was more than tipsy herself. You never hear that her teenage son and his friend were snooping around a neighbor’s property, looking for mischief, when the elderly man became spooked and fired off his shotgun, clipping the boy in the arm and giving him a flesh wound. Or that he went screaming home and his mother (the intoxicated woman giving the party) over-reacted to what amounted to a scrape on the arm, and insisted on rushing him to the local emergency room. You don’t hear the argument in the car between the woman, her belligerent son and his friend. You don’t know that she wasn’t paying attention to the road or the intersection, and didn’t see the man in the pickup rushing towards her. You don’t know that the son’s friend screamed at the last second before impact….

You don’t know about the drunk in the pickup, that his mother and wife have been screaming at him for days because he made a mistake on the job and got fired, and now he won’t be able to pay the thousands of dollars to the coyote to get his wife’s mother and sister across the border to this small Texas town where maybe their lives will be better, but maybe not. You don’t know that he had just finished the last of the six-pack in the fridge, or that his daughter just called begging her father to come pick her up from her boyfriend’s house, or that she was crying and frantic because the boyfriend was high on drugs and he and his friends decided to have a party with her as the favor. You don’t see the fear, the blind rage of the man as he picked up the keys and ran for his beat-up truck, driving far beyond the posted speed limits and his own swimming senses. You don’t know that his mind was only on his beloved daughter, fighting off a group of groping and persistent man-boys, so that he never thought to look beyond the intersection, or that it took moments after the impact for him to realize that his truck was spun into the ditch, his precious cell phone was thrown against the glass and shattered to bits and his daughter was still at the party…

Now... what part of the story do you like best?

Whew!

2009-02-17T21:42:00.003-06:00

OK, okay stop yellin' at me already! I know I didn't get back here quite as quickly as we all had hoped, but I'm back. And that means I survived the contest!

No, I did not win, but my good friend Bailey Stewart came in 2nd and that's great!

I didn't even come in 3rd & frankly I'm okay with that, too. I had something I thought was good, submitted it & even if it didn't win, I didn't fall over from fear/embarassment/panic attacks.

These are all good things, because as a writer, one of the hardest things to do is let it go. All the while you're putting all these words together & hoping/praying that they make sense, and your gut is in knots because somebody is gonna read it!

Yeah, I know that's the point, but that don't mean it's easy.

I've had a lot of firsts this year:

I joined RWA and a local chapter

I made a writer's goal (write every day and start this blog about it)

I entered my work in a contest.

I survived.

I'm excited, because there's so much more to come! There are online workshops to join and characters that are talking to me again and this nifty new laptop to lug around, and maybe just maybe a new story to be written... Can't wait to get started on it all!

Contest!?

2009-02-10T07:00:00.001-06:00

OK, here's the deal. This writers group that I belong to is meeting Saturday, which as everyone knows just happens to be Valentine's Day. So, we as a group decided to have a contest: 500-1000 words from a past work, current work, or just a stand-alone scene about... A FIRST KISS.

So have I said that this group of writers is almost 100% published??? I say almost because I am part of that group and if you've read my profile you will understand that I am not published.

And all of these writers write ROMANCE.

So... here's lowly little ole me... submitting my 1000 words on the subject and I can tell you right now my gut is in knots and I'm on the verge of a panic attack and all I can think is OMG what if they laugh... or snicker behind their hands because it's so painfully obvious that it's a beginner's work...

Now no one who knows me would say that I am shy necessarily, but I gotta tell ya, I'm a little intimidated by these women. I mean, some of them write erotica for cryin-out-loud!

But what I have to remember is that I'm not them and my take on this is just as valid and can you tell I'm trying to give myself a little pep-talk here?

And another thing.... What if they like it?!!

What am I more afraid of? Failure/criticism/ridicule ...or success?!

typewriter vs keyboard

2009-02-04T20:55:00.005-06:00

Waaaay back in the day... laptops, keyboards, desktop PCs were unheard of. Stop shaking your heads, this is only a minimally reminiscent post...
I learned to TYPE on a manual typewriter. I was fairly fast with it, all things considered. And considering how hard you/I had to pound those keys, it's not surprising that I killed an entire forest of trees trying to adapt to the IBM Selectric. Ah, that hum and zip-zip-zip when you powered it up in the morning... the muted clattering of the keys. In comparison to the near-silent tapping of my fingers on the laptop keys, the Selectric was LOUD.
There's a scene in You've Got Mail where Greg Kinnear comes into the apt bearing an aged electric typewriter... I could relate. We have an electric typewriter at work for those occasions when Word just doesn't cut it, and I smile every time I hear it... CLACK-CLACK-CLACK
The point here is that I am having just as much trouble adjusting to this blasted laptop as I ever did converting from manual to electric in the first place.
I try to make ALL CAPS and the cursor jumps to a whole other spot than where I thought I was typing... things start to disappear and move around... is that just the laptop? Or is it Vista? Or (curses!) is it just me?
Well, if you showed up for this post, WELCOME! I'm behind the times again in just starting my own blog and yeah I know the "in" thing is to be on Facebook, but gimme a break will ya? Some things take longer than others...
If you can take it, come back about once a wk and we'll have a chat, k? (see I'm just learning txt-speak too!)
I aim to keep my writers-goal this year: WRITE EVERY DAY... Now, whether I get that manuscript finished or not remains to be seen...